Disappointed

Once again, disappointment creeps in. Despite thinking and believing that everything has been normalized, I still feel sidelined. Still feel that I'm not at all on the priority scale. Perhaps, not even an afterthought. I get a sense that there's something in between. As if the chasm that I thought we bridged by maturity and mutual understanding still remains, an empty, unbridged chasm. I feel disappointed because I keep getting rejected. And perhaps there are mixed messages. A display of willingness, yet at the same time, evident hesitance. Maybe I'm not seeing things right. Maybe there are things I'm missing out or over-expecting. I don't know. All I do know is I feel disappointed, and probably want to scale back any efforts to normalize things any further.