Marry my daughter?
"How come you're not interested in my daughters?" My boss quips in jest as she leaves the office.
"Are they interested in me? Ha..ha" I respond while stirring my coffee at the pantry watching her leave the office with a full-on grin. I half-smile at my colleague.
My boss has two lovely daughters of marriagable age (according to Jewish customs). Though we get along pretty well, our affiliations are precisely defined by my work contract with their mum. Sometimes, I play mom to the both of them when I'm asked to administer motherly chores on their mum's behalf. I get them from school and college, send them for music lessons, and attend to emergencies as and when. They conveniently call me mom and their friends call me 'aunty'.
My boss sees my early involvement in motherhood as a future investment. "You will be become a role model father by understanding what mothers go through." I'm quite sure. Provided I find a wife before I find a coffin.
I'm at a stage in my life where I don't feel the need to settle down, much less get into a romantic relationship. While most of my friends are pursuing these relationships, I'm still trying to figure out if marriage is for me. I've got meaningful friends who are convinced that marriage isn't really for them. Though they have feelings for the opposite sex, there are valid reasons that convict them from getting hitched. And mind you, they're pretty attractive people. And straight too.
I like how the priest responded to the stigmata-chick in the movie, Stigmata, when she asked about his decision to remain single. "You're exchanging one set of struggles for another."
Well, single or married, they're both gifts from above. It isn't taboo for you to remain single neither would the wedding bed be coated with roses every night. Both will have their unique triumphs and trials. One set of struggles (and joys) from the other. The Bible doesn't talk much about finding a perfect match in a life-partner (though there are valuable principles to follow).
It urges husbands to love your wives. And wives, to love your husbands. One wife per husband.
Whoa ... deep.
But before you think I'm choosing to remain single and close registration to interested applicants, let me just recap where I stand:
1. I believe in arranged marriages. Duh.. all marriages are arranged in heaven. Therefore, you need to know your Matchmaker first.
2. I don't believe in getting into a relationship for the hell of it. People tend to commit more than they can offer-giving false hope to everyone, themselves included. Romantic relationships are a natural phenomenon but must be handled with discernment. A HIV-AIDs counsellor once told me, "Guys think with their d*cks". But really, some guys epitomize it.
3. If it happens, it happens. If there is an interest in someone, I'll act on it. If there still isn't anyone or anything (feelings or hints), I'll just go with it. Personally, I think marriage is for me. Unless Jesus thinks otherwise.
4. It always makes sense to take things a step a time. No need to rush. But don't keep people waiting either. Discernment, man... discernment.
Oh well, till my next post, I'll be single and not desparate.
*They say when a couple holds hands before marriage, it is called love. After marriage, it's called self-defense."