Women are from Venus, Men are ... absolutely right!

I might get my a... rear end kicked for this post. But then again, I'm inspired to speak the 'truth' in love. If you know me, you'll know that I have a thing for women (sorry gay friends, I'm not into you!). No, no, no ... if you're thinking naughty, you're on the wrong channel. I cherish, admire and support my opposite sex for they are really God's gift. Ok, in some cases. *oucchh, I can foresee broomsticks and Jacky's clogs flying my direction*

In 1992, when I was in Form 1 (first year in high school), I joined a public speaking competition in school. The topic of my speech was "MEN vs WOMEN". I succeeded the preliminaries with mix responses from my peers and teachers. Firstly, I was in a boys' school. Secondly, my English teacher hardly smiled.

I spoke out for women. I vehemently spoke against men who were hot-wired to be builders, protectors and shapers of society- for abdicating their responsibilities to the women. Women wore the pants at home and stood in shoes not made for them, and have beaten the men flat. I was a feminist during the course of the competition. My friends sneered at me. My Form one innocence got raped when Mrs Harbajan asked if I was a sexist. (what is sex?)

The finals came. I spoke with Hitler's passion and JFK's sense of conviction for his fellow men (before his escapade with Monroe). My form one friends cheered as I spoke in order to overthrow my fellow competitors, who were a year older or so. The last speaker spoke. The results were out shortly after. I got consolation prize. I was the fourth out of four finalist.

Now, as a post-pubescent young man; I have had first hand contact with my Venusian friends. Though I hardly dated much, I've had close encounters with them. Close enough to know what they're made of and how they function. Women are highly capable. Anything men can do, they do it well too. Infact, better. Of course, some things are really way out (eg. driving, handling stress, dealing with mosquitoes, and the like,).

Instead of boring you with more paragraphs, I will gently place my observations of them in point form (the way most men like it. Short and sweet). And hopefully make sense of it in closing.

1. Women are long-winded. Before they can tell you about their new shoes, they'd have to rationalize world peace in the process.

2. Women are manipulative. Girl to guy: "Hey, you look cute standing with the guitar". Guy: *blushes* "No lah, ... where got? I fat lah.." Girl: "Where got fat.. I am fat lah.." One smile later and she's successfully sold 3 sets of her canteen-day coupons to him.

3. When she says:

  • "Hey, It's not you. It's me", after you've opened your heart to her and want her response, she actually means: "it is you, idiot."
  • "Ne'mind, it's ok, next year also got birthday" when you confessed that you honestly forgot her birthday, she means: "WTH*, birthday oso cannot remember!?"
  • "Anythinglah, I'm ok one" She means, "You better get this one right!" or "I hope he chooses Burger Kings instead of McDs".
  • "No lah, I didn't reply because you that wasn't a question what? Plus, I want to save credit." She means, "Dei, how dumb can you get? Can't you see I'm not interested?"
  • "Ok, Good nitez, U better get some rest yah ... sweetdreamz : )" in a sms, she means: "Ok faster, stop replying me and get lost. I need some rest!"
(there are more conversation lines. But will stop here before I ruin my chances of getting married with ten kids)

There are always rainbows:

1. Women are sweet. Beauty is deep within. Women possess this no matter what they look on the outside. Though some have temperemental shortcomings, there's that little starlight beaming from within. Which most men fail to detect with their telescopic abilities.

2. Women are thoughtful.Besides the birthday smses and get-well-soon cards, they brighten stormy days by just having you around in their thoughts, and letting you know they thought about you.

3. Women make sense. I wish most guys can do the same. There are times I find gems of wisdom pouring forth from women. Stuff which most men fail to grasp. Men, sadly try to make 'sense' because they feel they ought to 'to show them women who's boss'. Most often, their ego swells bigger than their intellect, leaving them disproportionate and out of shape.

Ok, would really love to go on. But if I do, I'd be long-winded, manipulative and confusing. Are men and women equal? Yes they are. Are they different? Yes they are. We're complementary to each other! We can't live without each other. Neither can we totally put up with each other. We've got to know our strengths and shortcomings and understand each others' as well. Then, learn to live concientously. Women are as manipulative as men are chauvenists. Men are decisive as women are discerning. We're made to work together.

So, being diplomatic and all, I would suggest we take a breather. Pause. Look at each other really well (not too well, guys - you might sin in the process). Appreciate their good points and offer our strengths to complement the weaknesses.

"Before you put some one in their place, put yourself in theirs"

*WTH: What the Hell?


jedibaba said…
What brought this about? Girl rejected you again -ah? :-)
kev said…
haha... no lah.. just destressing.. : )

Ok, bad excuse!
Chipmunkrock said…
" Girl: "Where got fat.. I am fat lah.."
In response to this, she also EXPECTS you to say "nolah you're soooo slim..."
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kev to anon. said…
will give it a try. can i borrow $5.99?

Anonymous said…
heya kev,
funny entry.really enjoyable!

"Women are as manipulative as men are chauvenists"

btw,its chauv(I)nist....

andrea said…
Hey...I like this entry very much...You made me smiile..tell me, why are u still single again?


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